purification

I celebrated Candlemas with women friends last Sunday. One of the words we contemplated was purification, a concept I haven't historically been overly fond of. The whole pure/impure dichotomy has tended to leave me feeling flat. Who is pure? Who is impure? Aren't we always a little of both?

Jesus talked a lot about that sort of thing. Wheat and chaff. His mother and father went to the temple 40 days after he was born, when Mary was once again, "pure," so they could receive a blessing for their son.

Candlemas is an observance of the purification of Mary, among other things. How are we like her? How am I like her? She has been important to me for a long time now, even though I can't articulate exactly why. Doesn't matter. It's deep, limbic stuff that I'm happy to feel and not explain.

So, when I sang this verse from Fred Pratt Green's "Whom shall I send?" in church this morning, I took it as a divine sign that everything's gonna be all right...one way or another.

Those who are called God purifies,
and daily gives us strength to bend
our thoughts, our skills, our energies
and life itself to this one end.

I'm losing my job, my lovely 1/4 time job, in three weeks. In painfully diplomatic language, I was told I could apply for the position full-time or say good-bye. My dear co-worker and I are electing to say good-bye. Neither one of us could take it on full time. Nor could the third dear chaplain who joined us after my Anna was born.

I pray for God to give me daily strength to bend my thoughts, my skills, my energies, my life itself, to the end of work/life balance.

Full-time chaplaincy while mothering small children has not provided that kind of balance for our family.

Here's my trusting surrender to what is to come. Light a candle. Say a prayer for our family. We have options and ideas, but the future is unlit. Thank you!