A treasure from homeschooling land

Our friends Leeala, Fallon and Story Blithe came to visit this evening. (We missed you, Doug, if you're reading this). I have learned much from Leeala and Doug and admire the way they're parenting and homeschooling their two daughters. A visit with Leeala is a treat because she is so generous with me, always bringing new books and ideas my way. Tonight she brought us Peter in Blueberry Land, a new book for Henry. I love the mice pulling the berry wagon on the cover of this classic (not to me, but I guess to many people) book by Elsa Beskow.

How do I put this? When Leeala gives me these things I feel like I'm communing with another world, one that I would like to enter (namely, homeschooling), but feel somewhat barred from. I suppose it is mostly an inner barrier I am facing. As I (along with Joel) deliberate about how to do this, I'm having a hard time letting go of the worry that all this time spent with Joel and me (mostly me) might expose me to be a nagging, worrying, clingy mother who won't let her son cut loose and grow. Oh, and that opens up a whole 'nother ball of worries. Am I keeping him from learning to be polite and obedient like "other children"? Am I / are we allowing him to dabble too much, keeping him from developing the gifts of self-discipline and self-restraint? Will I mess him up by keeping him, an only child, from playing with others for so much of the day?

By no means do I think any of these questions merit an automatic and unequivocal, "yes." But this is the stuff I'm wrestling with. That and the fact Henry has told us he'd like to go to public school with his friends. We value his opinion, but I can see that there could be a great gift for him in learning at home while maintaining a host of "outside" relationships--with neighborhood friends, family, other homeschoolers in Wichita and Newton, and mentors who are older than he.

I pray for wisdom in all of this. I am planning to request a conversation with the principal (or someone) from our elementary school. I'm pretty clear that I, personally, would like to give homeschooling a try. And I think I speak pretty accurately when I say that Joel is open to giving it a try. But what if Henry just isn't "into" it. I think the idea of giving homeschooling a dry run has some merits, but that's kind of hard to do (a) before you're officially of kindergarten age and already in a marvelous preschool program or (b) when all other kids are enjoying summer break. Giving it a test drive this fall could, I believe, provide us with some real momentum. But I'm afraid. Afraid of Henry (possibly) resisting it every step of the way, or resenting us/me for asking him to do this instead of going to "real school." I guess it all just leaves me in a position of wanting and needing to pray about it and let it continue to unfold.

I know life will be worth living either way, or in some hybridized form of the two (that last option being--I think--fairly typical of the way our family tends to live and move in the world). That gives me peace. All shall be well, any which way... ultimately.