Wednesday, July 2, 2008

willing to get the moon if possible


I have fond memories of watching this video with Henry when he was younger. He loved it and we would act it out together. We found the book at our dear thrift store this week and read it tonight for a bedtime story.

I have been thinking about what I will and will not do as a parent. So much of it is fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants. We don't have extensively-thought-through approaches to many things other than wanting to be loving and non-violent. And what does that mean? So many terms come to mind: unconditional parenting (a book I haven't read yet), attachment parenting, parenting with love and logic, conscious discipline, without spanking or spoiling. God help me. How I define love and "non-violent" changes from moment to moment through the day.

Today we bought Henry a Webkin. He has been asking for one for a long time now, mostly very patiently. There is something in me that just wanted to, needed to (almost) respond to that want by saying "Yes!" But how to balance this desire for him to feel included among his peers with the desire, I mean need, to be fiscally responsible and to teach values of patience, perseverance, nonconformity, love of natural beauty...

I know I'm not alone in the struggle and that is a great consolation. I also know that I feel like I should want more consistency in myself as a mama. And I know that, at the end of the day, I'll probably be the one trying to rig a ladder up to the moon, maybe not getting there as elegantly as papa, but believing that the moon is for my boy as well as Monica and all the world's children. I feel like I will always remember this line from Thomas Traherne, quoted in The Quiet Eye, an all-time favorite little book

The moon and stars are mine if those I prize.

5 comments:

Lizz said...

I have no idea what a Webkin is!

I do know about balance, I hear what you are saying.

kristin said...

oh, i know this...i know this.

well said.

i am completley freed by the notion that i simply want to be nonviolent and loving in my parenting...the rest are details.

thank you.

Lisa Anne said...

Another great parenting book that helped me early on in my journey was "You are your Child's First Teacher"

What a sweet book!

Beth said...

Wonderful thoughts on parenting -- Thank you! It is truly a daily struggle sometimes. I wish I didn't know what a Webkin was, but I do :)

Kathy Slattengren said...

It really helped us get balance when we gave our kids an allowance (starting at age 3-4). It taught them about money and when they wanted to buy something at the store we could say "Sure, as long as you have enough money." It really made them think long and hard about how to spend their money and it ended any begging at the store!